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5 Ways to Stop the Mom-Shaming Cycle

Fellow moms, can we get real for a minute? Being a mom is hard. Being a mom is the most rewarding and best job there is out there in the world, but there are so many challenges to being a mom in today’s world.

It’s so easy to jump to conclusions and judge a mom by how her child is acting at any given moment. We all have been on both sides of this scenario. We have judged. We have been the mom getting judged.  Or at least I know that I have been on both sides.

Motherhood should be a sisterhood where we all have each other’s backs instead of mom-shaming each other.

5 Ways to Stop the Cycle of Mom-Shaming

  1. Be a friend
  2. Be a prayer warrior
  3. Run your own race
  4. Don’t play the comparison game
  5. Don’t judge

Be a Friend

What does it mean to be a friend? I believe the meaning of this word has gone from a genuine face to face, interactive relationship to a button you click on Facebook. We consider a “friend” a person on a list of people we follow on social media. We watch the lives of our friends through posts on social media instead of being a part of the life of a friend.

What would the world be like if we made room in our day to day life to have face to face friendships?

5 ways to be a great friend
  1. Pray for your friends
  2. Get together on a regularly by going out to eat, working out, going on walks, or do a bible study (maybe even kid-free)
  3. Be there in the good and bad times- support friends through trials (i.e. financial, marriage, parenting, career, etc.)
  4. Have play dates with your kids
  5. Get your families connected (i.e. cookouts, game nights, etc.)

 

Be a Prayer Warrior

There is power in prayer. I have seen it first hand in my life and countless lives of those around me. Praying for our friends, enemies, and even our frienemies is one of the best things we can do even though it’s often far down on our to-do list. Lifting each other up in person is awesome but lifting each other up to the Holy Father is the best way to end mom-shaming because hopefully, the prayer is you are asking for a changed heart for you and potentially a fellow mom

So playing that thought process out, when we see a child melting down in the middle of Walmart let’s not be so quick to tell that mom how she should handle the situation, instead be slow to speak your mind and lift that mama up in prayer.

Run Your Own Race

Motherhood and life, in general, is not a sprint it’s a marathon. There are so many “experts” in this world that try to tell us how best to be moms that it’s hard to hear the voices that matter.

Most of us have probably heard this quote before but it’s true so it’s worth quoting yet again. “There is no way to be a perfect parent, but a million ways to be a good one.” Just because we all parent differently doesn’t mean that we are all bad moms. God made us all unique and gave us unique children. To stay the course and run my own race I have goals that I set in many areas in my life. These goals help me run my race not just in parenthood but in day to day life as well.

Don’t Play the Comparison Game

Raising children in this crazy world is difficult enough on all of us to add the comparison game. The trick is that the world we live in thrives on the comparison game. All we have to do to be bombarded with this concept is to turn on our tv. It seeps into our lives and even our parenting.

I often catch myself playing the comparison game when I see children sitting completely still and quiet or a child who was potty trained at 1. That’s when my green jealousy monster tries to creep out. When does your green jealousy monster come out?

Let’s battle the comparison game together as a sisterhood. We were made for such a time as this. God made us for His purpose. God has us right where we are meant to be, so let’s bloom as the women God created us to be.

I choose to see uniqueness as beauty. How about you?

Don’t Judge

The only judge that truly matters, in the end, is the Heavenly Father, correct? So why do we try to give God and the mom we are shaming our opinions on any given subject? We hate to be judged so why are so quick to return the misfortune. Does the golden rule still exist in today’s world? Let’s revive it. Let’s join together as moms and sisters in motherhood to encourage and treat others the way we want to be treated. Who is with me?

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success in will be how you treat other people- your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”

Barbara Bush (1925- 2018)

Let’s put an end to mom-shaming. Join the sisterhood of women who have been raised up and called blessed.

God bless mamas.

7 Comments

  • Meg

    Everything in this post is on point and so true. Parenting is hard enough, moms don’t need to feel worse by being put down and criticized over everything they do. It frustrates me when I see other moms being blasted in facebook support groups. The group is there for support, this mother obviously posted on there to get support and people turn around and say hurtful things. I wish everyone could start living up to this post and just start supporting and cheering each other on!

  • Becky

    Such good advice and wisdom in this post. I read something the other day that said that judging others keeps us from true vulnerability and prevents us from authentic connection and deep friendship with each other. Even though it is our natural or first reaction sometimes, it’s holding us back from loving one another the way we should.

  • Neha Gupta

    These are such good tips/advice…I feel everything should not compared and life is not a race where the perfect person gets an award…and everyone has their own race to run and set of problems to solve..One cant judge what the other person is going though unless one are in their shoes

  • Heather Margiotta

    YES! I’ve been blessed to not have experienced this too much. But when I have, it’s incredibly frustraiting. I think it’s key to know everyone’s race looks different and what works on your race doesn’t work on everyone else’s.

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